Nenagh Chooses Respect

Businesses, schools and clubs join in community awareness of attitudes towards women

ON January 12 last, every community in Ireland was united in grief when news filtered through that another young woman was murdered.

It was a quiet Wednesday afternoon in Tullamore; school had just finished and a young teacher decided to “go for a run”. Her name was Ashling Murphy.

A kind, vivacious 23-year-old, just starting out on her teaching career, and she was already beloved by her pupils. She was a talented musician and had recently purchased a set of uilleann pipes. She was looking forward to the challenge of mastering this difficult instrument.

If you were on the streets in Nenagh that Wednesday afternoon, people were visibly upset, stunned by the news. A similar reaction was replicated across Ireland.

Any time a woman is assaulted or murdered, families and communities mourn. Occasionally, some, like Ashling’s, dial into a national grief.

Over the following days, vigils took place across Tipperary, from Cashel to Clonmel, Thurles to Templemore. On Friday 14, the people of Nenagh gathered in Banba Square.

Tears, hugs, sadness and anger were captured in the glow of candlelight.

Across the water in London, a large crowd queued in Camden Square to sign a book of condolences. Traditional Irish music was played, including her favourite song, ‘When You Were Sweet Sixteen’.

‘SOMEBODY SHOULD DO SOMETHING’

Time and again, after tragic events like this, a common theme plays out on radio phone-ins, angry TV debates or letters of exasperation to local and national newspapers.

It can usually be distilled into four words - ‘Somebody should do something’.

As it happens, two individuals in Nenagh had already accepted the challenge to be that ‘somebody’ in their local community. On Saturday, January 15, Denis Finnerty and Marney O’Regan were chatting in front of a beautiful portrait of Ashling surrounded by shimmering candles. The staff of Finnerty’s pharmacy had erected a memorial to allow customers to stop for a minute in silent prayer.

In their brief conversation, Denis and Marney sketched out an idea and, within weeks, arranged a cross-community meeting comprising three local secondary schools, six leading sports clubs and 20 business owners.

The purpose of the meeting was to start a conversation about the underlying concerns faced by women on a daily basis as a result of men’s actions and behaviour.

The concerns highlighted at that meeting and in subsequent discussions with other groups mirrored similar experiences across every county in Ireland... and internationally as well.

Examples of the concerns included: Comments on appearance, sexist banter and jokes, unwanted physical contact, cat-calling, sending unsolicited explicit images on your phone. And sometimes worse…

After many months of listening to groups and individual stories, seeking guidance from professionals and researching international studies, we were left with two fundamental questions -

How do we create awareness of these concerns to a wider audience?

How can we collectively address these concerns for the betterment of all our society?

Nine months later and a ‘Choose Respect’ awareness campaign was launched in Nenagh on Saturday, November 5.

WHAT IS THE ‘CHOOSE RESPECT’ PROJECT?

It is a pilot project to create awareness of the concerns facing women on a daily basis – primarily caused by men.

All men don’t behave like this? It is true that the vast majority of men do not directly participate in these behaviours, but… all men can be part of the solution.

Ask yourself this? Have you ever heard a comment or a joke within the circle of your friends that would easily fall into one of the examples above? Ever received a text, image or video in your group chat that made you feel uncomfortable and you didn’t respond Ever witnessed something on a night out but didn’t challenge a friend?

And that’s part of the problem. You read it, you hear it or you see it – it doesn’t register as a problem.

“It’s a bit of craic – we were only joking”. Unless you start to recognise that these issues are REAL for women in our town, then nothing will change.

Still not convinced? Ask any woman you know, whether during the day or night, if she has: Taken a longer route home; Held her keys between her fingers; Made a fake phone call; Been catcalled; Received an unwanted image by text; Felt uncomfortable in public spaces; Been inappropriately touched on a night out.

So, you may be asking yourself, what can I do? 1) Recognise that these issues are a reality for women in our community; 2) Accept personal responsibility to change your own behaviour; 3) And one more thing - you have a choice to make.

What is that choice?

Log on to nenagh.ie/choose-respect or scan the QR code at the end of this article to find out how making the right choice will benefit our community.

As of last Saturday, at least 100 businesses will display the ‘Choose Respect’ poster in their windows for seven days. Noelle and her staff in Eason along with John in Nenagh Bookshop will be handing out bookmarks. Don’t be surprised if you pop into your favourite café or shop for a takeaway coffee and you find a sticker attached to it, inviting you to log onto the website!

Later in the evening, when you are nursing your late night pint in the pub, make sure you pick up one of the beermats on the counter. From posters to stickers, bookmarks to beermats, you are encouraged to become more aware of the concerns highlighted. And when an issue presents itself, you might choose to accept the challenge to ‘do what’s right’.

WHAT ELSE IS HAPPENING?

The committee didn't want the campaign to be just another “Seven-day wonder with stickers in the windows”. Therefore, we approached many of the largest employers in town and they didn’t hesitate to support the initiative.

They have agreed to place permanent durable A4 posters in communal areas in their premises to remind all employees to discuss the issues amongst their groups and how to they might effect a change for the better. Taking part will be Carey Glass, AIBP, Revenue Commissioners, Civic Offices, Quigleys Bakery and Abbey Court Hotel.

Other businesses that are delighted to support the initiative include Nenagh Credit Union, Sheahan’s Homevalue Hardware, Chadwicks, Centra, O’Connors Supervalu Kenyon St, The Fitness Factory, and dozens more.

The committee estimates that we will reach circa 3,000 employees on a permanent basis!

Sports Clubs Nenagh Éire Óg Nenagh, Nenagh Ormond Rugby Club, Nenagh Lawn Tennis Club, Nenagh Olympic Athletics Club, Nenagh AFC and Nenagh Golf club have all been enthusiastic supporters of the initiative from the very first meeting. They will embrace the short-term AND long-term objectives as highlighted.

Schools are also involved - Nenagh College and St Joseph’s CBS participated in a joint workshop on the issues last May. As part of the awareness campaign, they are planning several initiatives that include, applying ‘Choose Respect’ stickers to the front of their workbooks. Each sticker will have a QR code and link to our web page with access to three-four Bystander Videos.

Each school is also examining options to create their own internal school video on what ‘Choose Respect’ means in their school.

So, you are probably asking yourself; “Why should I be the one to intervene?” You are part of this community and we encourage you to have a conversation with your friends, colleagues and family and realise that these concerns are present every day for women in Nenagh. If more of us don’t step up and speak out, we are part of the problem.

Lastly - the next time you identify inappropriate language or behaviour directed towards women in your group chat, in the corridors of your school, in your workplace, on a night out or in your sports club, don’t wait for someone else to intervene - you know what to do: Step up to intervention. Your community is right behind you.