Red flags for domestic abuse

The Ascend domestic abuse service for women in North Tipperary recently participated in the international 16 days of action campaign.

A North Tipperary Development Company (NTDC) service, Ascend offers confidential support services to women who have or are experiencing domestic abuse in their intimate relationships. This also includes abuse within family relationships.

Ascend covers all of North Tipperary with the main offices in Nenagh, Roscrea and Thurles. They also provide outreach services to Borrisokane, Ballina, Newport, Templemore and Borrisoleigh.

Services include:

One-to-One Support

Helpline

Court Accompaniment

Drop-in court clinic at Thurles Courthouse on Tuesdays, 10:30-1pm

Information and Outreach Support

Personal Development group

Creative play service

Delivery of Healthy Relationships Programme to Transition Year students

Provision of a Safe House

The 16 days of action is an international campaign that runs from November 25 to December 10. Its aim is to raise awareness of domestic abuse and violence against women and children.

This year, Ascend ran the red flag campaign, which focussed on younger women. Since 2022, and due to widespread media coverage on domestic abuse, Ascend have had an increase in the amount of older women accessing their service - the oldest woman being in her 80s.

‘I WISH I HAD KNOWN THIS SOONER’

The majority of these women, when they come in and meet with a worker, say: ‘I wish I had known this sooner’ or ‘I wish I had reached out sooner.’ They may have been living with their abusive partner for 60 years and dealing with issues like coercive control, financial abuse, emotional abuse as well as physical abuse.

Some women think that what they have experienced is not abuse because ‘he never hit me.’ But they don’t have to hit to hurt. The emotional scars left by name-calling, gaslighting and day-in, day-out control is just as damaging.

As a result of this, Ascend wanted to go out into the community and meet with teenagers to ensure that they received the information sooner rather than later.

A total of 77 Transition Year students at St Mary's Secondary School, Nenagh, attended a workshop on the red flags of abuse and engaged very well. They reported some red flags in teenage relationships, for example: jealousy, not allowing you to have other male friends, wanting you to keep your location on all the time, and a partner making fun of you in front of their friends

A group of girls Foróige, Nenagh, also participated and watched a video highlighting how abuse can escalate and how the person being abused can become very isolated from family and friends. They engaged brilliantly and shared this information afterwards with their friends at school.

COFFEE MORNING

Ascend had a coffee morning on December 6 for local professionals. Mary Hayes from the Women's Aid Too Into You campaign joined us via Zoom to talk about red flags in younger relationships.

Amongst those in attendance were - TLC KIDZ, which is a service for children who have been impacted by domestic abuse; Silver Arch Family Resource Centre; Ruhama, which is a charity that offers nationwide support to women impacted by prostitution, sex trafficking and other forms of commercial sexual exploitation; adult safeguarding team; Nenagh Citizens Information Centre.

Don’t be afraid to reach out via phone, text, email or social media. We can arrange a safe time to call. We are very discreet.

We can talk women through their options and support them on whatever path they choose.

Helpline: 0505 23999 / 087-9501299 (available 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday. You can also email ascend@ntdc.ie and visit ntdc.ie/programmes/ascend.

We are also on Facebook and Instagram.