In remembrance - Oliver Adlum

This Saturday, January 14, marks the first anniversary of the passing of Oliver Adlum.

Here his family share some memories of their cherished son, some tiny markers of his time with them.

Oliver arrived on March 12, 2002, the first of four for his parents Thomas and Sinead. Abigail, Isabelle and Harry followed later, all adored by their eldest sibling.

From an early age, Oliver loved music and performing came easy to him. He never took his natural talents for granted though, always displaying an admirable work ethic and a strong desire to be the best that he could. He also had a great affinity with horses, which brought him into the racing and equine community where he was much loved and respected by the friends he made, both at home and abroad.

He collected experiences, created opportunities and always backed himself. For those who knew Oliver, they knew him as a gentleman, a son, a genius, a brother, a messer, a grandson, a performer, a nephew, a jockey, a cousin, a petrolhead, a friend, a musician, a story-teller. He was generous and gifted, shrewd and sympathetic, supportive and determined, and full of the love and the light that brought people together. He was all of this and so much more. The impact he had will be forever written again and again in our hearts.

Oliver’s family would like to thank everybody who expressed kind wishes of sympathy during a period of overwhelming bereavement. And as Oliver would say himself - “Good luck, lads and mind yourselves”.

'COULD DO ANYTHING'

At Oliver’s funeral Mass, his uncle Gerard spoke of his nephew and his family have expressed their wish to have his words included in the hope that they may provide some solace for others

“Gifted is a description you often hear, but rarely has it suited someone so well. Oliver Adlum could do anything, Irish dancing. Music. Singing. The horses. Cars. And construction then as well? No end to the talents.

“It's a rare individual who can hold an audience in the palm of his hand. And hold the reins of a thoroughbred on the other hand, just as comfortably. The ease with which he took to things was remarkable. Whatever it was, he backed himself to do it. And he backed himself to do it well.

“You could list off the million brilliant little things he said and did. And sure it wouldn't come close to summing him up. We wouldn't be close to the depths of that young lad.

“So, I won't even try to sum him up. But maybe you'll indulge me a funny thought I had. And I really hope you'll know what I mean by it. If I heard one morning that Oliver was after taking up scuba diving, I would not be surprised in the slightest. He's gas, I'd say. And if I heard the following week that not only had he taken it up but that he was already considered one of the most promising young scuba divers in the country, I would not be surprised. I wouldn't doubt it. I'd just nod. ‘Ah yeah’, I'd think, ‘that sounds about right’.

“And of course he'd probably have bought and sold about a dozen wetsuits in that time too. I don't know why I thought of scuba diving, or what put that into my head, by the way. There's a gorgeous photograph of Oliver as a child wearing a wetsuit hanging on his nanny Esther's wall. Maybe that's what made me think of it.

“But anyway, I suppose what I'm trying to say is that if there was something he wanted to try, Oliver didn't sit around wondering. He went for it. Both barrels, full throttle, he went for it. And chances are, he'd be a natural. And however far his talent brought him, his determination would bring him the rest of the way.

“I needn't say a word about Oliver's character. His manner. His spark. No need. If you knew him at all, then you knew. And you loved him for it. Over the last couple of days, every now and then, I've thought to myself: ‘Time would have healed his sadness’. Why couldn't he just have waited a little longer?

“Sure, Oliver, sadness passes, buddy. It's only like snow. It might fall on top of you. You might be able to see nothing else for miles.

“But it doesn't last. Just give it time. Yeah, it might be weeks or months, or even years but it will pass. That's what I've been thinking. ‘Time would have healed his sadness’. Why could he not have waited a bit longer?

“And then, sure lads, it hit me. And again, I hope you understand the spirit of what I mean when I say this. Oliver Adlum wasn't one for waiting around. When he wanted something, he wanted it. And he wanted to be free of his sadness. So I said to myself, let him. Let him be free of his sadness, and make sure he hasn't left too much of it behind him. He wouldn't want that.

“Instead, I started thinking to myself, let him leave some of his joy and his messin' with you. Let him leave behind the memories of his talent and the inspiration of his drive. Remember, his love and all the million little brilliant things he said and did. Because there's nothing surer than that is what he would want.”